revisiting purpose

I wrote this post one year ago today. I was reminded of it last night because actually, I wrote it on my brother's birthday. And today is his birthday (happy birthday, bro). I realized just how much I have grown since I wrote it yet the truth at its core is unchanged. I like that about the truth. It's trustworthy. It doesn't change. Only I do.

--

I have a pretty ordinary life, there's not too much about it that screams "I'm special", "I'm super talented" or "pick me, I'm the best one for the job". No, outwardly I'm not that special (of course, In God's eyes, I'm something pretty special and that's all that really matters), I'm pretty average in my offerings of talents and I certainly don't think I'm better than anyone else. So, all in all, I appear quite ordinary to any stranger peering through the windows of my life.

I know so many Christians (myself included) who have grappled with the confusion and uncertainty of their identity and purpose in a life that is ordinary. I know so many people who have missed or ignored their purpose by trying to live a less ordinary life.

Today I've been thinking about purpose. About my purpose, about purpose in general, about how God thinks about purpose. It pops into my mind every now and then and I pause for a moment to ponder. I don't have a very visible part of church life, I don't have something specific that I feel my life is fulfilling its purpose for at the moment, I don't even really know what the purpose for my life is yet...but it doesn't matter. I don't have to know about a specific calling and purpose for my life is yet...but it doesn't matter. I don't have to know about a specific calling and purpose to my life right now. I don't need to seem like I'm fulfilling my purpose because I get a more 'visible' job or area of service. I don't need to seek approval from the world to affirm my purpose.

I am reading a book at the moment in which the author says, "In order to care for my wife, I resigned from full-time Christian service - something that represents the ultimate type of work to many believers. I struggled doing so, because I felt that my new role was not as significant as my previous one, I was looking merely through human eyes. As I came to see the importance of all good work, I saw purpose and value in what I did, that it pleased God and He would reward it."

I realized that I already have a purpose. If nothing else, my purpose in life is to worship God. And to serve Him. Plain and simple. Not anything too fancy or praiseworthy in the eyes of the world but there you go. Even if I never 'find a specific purpose' for my life, my life will not be (and is not) without purpose. His purpose for us doesn't just fit nicely into a box which we put a nice sounding label on. I am sure that God's purpose for me will take on various forms and they will change according to His leading. However, my primary purpose in life remains to give all glory to God. Without Him, I am nothing.

And as for the ordinary life I speak of, being ordinary is not that ordinary at all. Living in God's purpose and will in an ordinary life is far more fulfilling than living an extraordinary life without Him.

starting something crazy + women praying boldly

I've said once before, there is one thing over the years that I've loathed to blog about - singleness. But recently I've felt led to share on this very subject. Because I won't be single forever. And all I can say about that is thank you God for that! Otherwise I'd be lost forever in the Sea of No Hope. But seriously, I've encountered so many women who only share their hearts on singleness once they are in a relationship, engaged or already married. Not that there is anything wrong with that or exceptions to that, but I'd like to write from a place of reality instead of the faded recollections of my own distant past. And I can't stress enough that it will be my personal reflections. My thoughts, my experiences, my views and beliefs. There will be no guarantees and no formulas. This is just me, sharing my journey toward marriage. There is no plan or time-frame, only God knows that. So here goes - the dive into the unknown begins. Scary, but exciting.

This 'series' (should I even call it a series) starts with a bang thanks to Carmen, of Life Blessons, who has started a Women Praying Boldly Prayer Initiative. If what I've just spoken about has ignited your spark to intentionally pursue God for a godly husband, then go here to find out more and sign up to pray with and for other single women. And don't let the title 'single' put you off. If you're married and would like to participate by praying for those of us who are in our season of singleness then go ahead...

dear winter

You are warm covers and hot water bottles and you smell of lavender. You're the lovely lullaby that sings me to sleep and you're the wispy and mysteriously wonder-filled morning. You're rain and sun showers and rainbows that peek out from behind grey clouds. You are passionate and tempestuous and at times, you have an air of sweet melancholy. I like that about you. You're also cozy and snugly and deep down a real softy at heart. You may seem unfriendly sometimes but really you're just misunderstood. You blend your beauty and your strength to create a scene of unsurpassed splendor. It seems that I have misjudged you. You're not so                                                                                                                      terrible after all.

absent

I've been rather scarce lately. And I hate getting into excuses and explanations for reasons which no one wants to know about anyway. So there will be none. If you keep but half an eye on the goings on around here you'll know that I don't have a schedule and am a brilliant at disappearing for long stretches of time. But I have the luxury (?) of writing only when and what I like. I don't like the idea of writing something just because someone is going to read it or because I have to put something up at least once a week or...you get my drift. Bloggers, as a fellow blog-reader, I give you permission to write for you and not for me. I will want to read you because I like you and not because you write brilliantly or even regularly.

On that aside, I've changed my look. It's winter now and the cold and the wet are getting to me. I wanted something warm and cozy for my online home. I also really would love a warm and cozy bed right now with a movie and a cuppa tea. Yes, I think I might do that. And plan for soup sometime this week too.

Till next time...